The Golden Child Syndrome

Meaning of Golden Child syndrome

Golden Child Syndrome refers to a strict requirement of becoming perfect by parents. Children tend to have an overwhelming need to please. For example, expecting a child to score straight As, do every house chore perfectly, behave perfectly, or follow strict life rules.

A golden child is often the product of being raised in a "faulty" family dynamic where the child is expected to be very good at everything, never make mistakes, and feel highly obliged to meet the aspirations of their parents.

A golden child is an example for others to follow. Even the siblings of the golden child are compared with them to create continuous pressure on their performance; to ensure that they shouldn't fail or fall short in their good behavior and accomplishments. Because of how strict their parents are, these children are unlikely to feel safe enough to voice their own opinions or go against the rules of the home.

        Children who possess the characteristics of a golden child are typically raised by narcissistic parents who are controlling and authoritarian.

Indicators and Adverse Effects of golden child syndrome:

1. An overwhelming need to please

One of the main signs of golden child syndrome is the overwhelming need to please parents and/or other authority figures. They make an extreme effort to appease their parents and satisfy all of their needs, the neuropsychologist, and the director of Comprehend the Mind. They will often obey their parents' ridiculous requests because they feel it's the only way to receive love from them.

2. Often required to grow up faster

This could include getting a job earlier than their siblings and making the decision to contribute to the family finances and running the household. They may also shun childish activities and opt for more productive hobbies. Often golden children are parentified and help raise other children.

3. Super high achievers

Golden children are often extraordinarily studious and love the competitive environment at school. These children work to receive the best grades possible with the purpose of showing their parents.

4. Fear of failure

There might be a fear of failure. When golden children fail to uphold their unrealistic expectations, they will become highly frustrated with themselves.

How the concept can be harmful & have effects later in life.

Golden child syndrome includes having low self-esteem. Since their life revolves around constant validation from others, they have no self-worth. This can leave people being defensive and sometimes hostile against people who show criticism.

The grown-up golden child might become excessively attached to another person, not knowing where they begin and end. For example, they might display excessive people-pleasing

These adults also lack a sense of identity because the only identity they formed during their childhood was through appeasing their parents, so they report feeling empty and unsure of themselves

To cope with these failures, they may pick up unhealthy mechanisms, including gambling, drug addiction, or alcoholism.

When narcissism comes into play

The golden child is usually the offspring of one or two narcissistic parents. These parents use their children to show off their own perfection. Narcissistic parents control and manipulate their child's life to ensure that the child upholds the parents' "perfect" image and reputation. Golden children cannot explore their identities because they spend all their time obeying their narcissistic parents. Since narcissists can only provide conditional love, golden children feel a severe amount of pressure to please their parents to be accepted and loved.

1. Acknowledge

Healing from golden child syndrome is an uphill task as you were conditioned to measure your worth by your achievements and success stories, You were never allowed to make mistakes, and you started believing that mistakes are bad and should be avoided at all costs, even if it robs your inner peace and happiness. When you learn that you need to let go of the faulty identity, you often become scared and vulnerable.

In order to heal from your golden child syndrome, you've got to accept it. They should encourage working to accept the darkest corners of yourself that are filled with pride and honor. Accept the narcissist in you to heal from within.

2. Consider therapy.

Therapy can be key to overcoming golden child syndrome, Roberts says. The golden child grows up in such a false and toxic reality, so they benefit from a safe and secure place to process and work on the trauma they experienced.